I think I have something locked up in me right now. I have been talking to myself lately working through some stuff. I promise something is about to be birthed and it just might be profound. I am hoping in the next few days I will be able to collect my thoughts in the midst of the whirlwind and write again. Thanks for waiting. Love You all.
Birdie
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Jason Upton
Hey, I was wondering what is your favorite Jason Upton song or album? Hands down ,my favorite is Dying Star. What is yours? Dying Star has always spoke to my spirit, and brought a level of healing. I am listening to it again, and you hear little things that you didn't hear before. It's blowing me away. Thank-you lord for Jason Upton and this album!!! woo-hooo!!
Birdie
Birdie
The Lord Just Told Me To Love Her
I see more and more beauty of our Lord. The Lord is making this journey easy for me. He is giving me crazy grace, and I thank-you for that Lord. There are moments of awkward pain, but I think due to my obedience of the Lord's leading; He is taking it away faster than usual. For some strange feeling, I feel like I am getting stronger in the midst of the chaos.
It feels like everyday I am grabbing a hold of more of His grace. Lord, can I dance with you, in the rivers of your grace and mercy? I like your grace Jesus! It's pretty awesome! Show me your grace and beauty, Lord Jesus. Lord, thank you for making this trip that much easier.
A few years back, I had a major reconciliation with my mother. I think that moment with my mother, had prepared my heart to follow the command of Jesus today. He told me just to love her. Don't judge her, don't hold bitter hostility towards her, Just love your mother. And that's all I can do, because the Lord told me to do it. Like I have said before, I am truly learning how to honor my mother.
It was the first part of the onion getting peeled off. I knew that it broke in on my mother's heart too, because I was no longer the “Religious Christian.” who was a hypocrite. I guess we never know that moment of forgiveness, what the implications of it will be in the future. That encounter has open the doors in my heart to bring a level of healing. I was thinking about that today, if that didn't happen, I would be like my sisters, angry at my mother for not being there for us all these years. And you weren't there for us why should we be here for you?
The reality is this, I realized that I could no longer be mad at my mother. How could she give me what she never received from her alcoholic parents? I had the revelation that my mom has a lot of pain that she has carried over her life. How could I add to it more? I want to see my mother free, I want her to have a restoration that she may think will never come in her life. I want my mom to know and love Jesus when it's all said and done. I want the good things for my mother. I also wanted to obey what the Lord has told me to do, now that she is back in my life.
It feels like everyday I am grabbing a hold of more of His grace. Lord, can I dance with you, in the rivers of your grace and mercy? I like your grace Jesus! It's pretty awesome! Show me your grace and beauty, Lord Jesus. Lord, thank you for making this trip that much easier.
A few years back, I had a major reconciliation with my mother. I think that moment with my mother, had prepared my heart to follow the command of Jesus today. He told me just to love her. Don't judge her, don't hold bitter hostility towards her, Just love your mother. And that's all I can do, because the Lord told me to do it. Like I have said before, I am truly learning how to honor my mother.
It was the first part of the onion getting peeled off. I knew that it broke in on my mother's heart too, because I was no longer the “Religious Christian.” who was a hypocrite. I guess we never know that moment of forgiveness, what the implications of it will be in the future. That encounter has open the doors in my heart to bring a level of healing. I was thinking about that today, if that didn't happen, I would be like my sisters, angry at my mother for not being there for us all these years. And you weren't there for us why should we be here for you?
The reality is this, I realized that I could no longer be mad at my mother. How could she give me what she never received from her alcoholic parents? I had the revelation that my mom has a lot of pain that she has carried over her life. How could I add to it more? I want to see my mother free, I want her to have a restoration that she may think will never come in her life. I want my mom to know and love Jesus when it's all said and done. I want the good things for my mother. I also wanted to obey what the Lord has told me to do, now that she is back in my life.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
What Would Make A Gas Noble?
I was reading in a Chemistry review that I have on my computer about Noble Gases. It stated the reason why these gases are noble because they are 'chemically content with their status as single atoms. Is there a hidden message from the Lord in there? Hey Lord are you trying to tell me something? Lord, what are YOU really saying? Oh You are so silly Lord! ( In my best Home star Runner impersonation.) I read the description and I almost fell off my seat. Is the Lord talking to me through the status of Noble Gases and their properties? Of Course He is. He's God. He's clever like that. just ask Balam and his ass. I just can't believe how funny the Lord is. His sense of humor is rocking my world. He will use all things for His glory.
Now that I think about it, all the atoms on the periodic table are trying to reach octet in their outer shell, that's why there is covalent bonds,Ionic bonds, here a bond there a bond everywhere a bond bond. They want the 8.
If you aren't stable you are radioactive. Then you are an isotope and who really wants to be an isotope? Who really wants to be radioactive? I have been toxic for way too long. Forget being a 10, I want to be an 8! 8 in your outer shell in chemistry is what makes you stable. I want 8 in my outer shell. The Lord designed everything to have balance in all things. What a clever God we have, still baffling scientist since the beginning of time.
As the Apostle Paul said I try to be content in all things. Even the atoms of the universe are trying to achieve being content, or that “cloak of nobility.” So the Lord created everything to have balance and contentment and I guess the end of it all peace.
I think this time around I am going to get a lot more out of studying Chemistry. Thanks Lord for the renewed enthusiasm for Chemistry and Math. I have the mind of Christ, and if the Lord designed this world. I declare and decree that I will be able to balance out chemical equations and that I am a straight A student. Haha!! Let it be so Lord! Doing a happy dance with the King of Kings!
To all the chemist who read this, I am still learning. If by some chance, I am technically off please correct me in love. You are the best.
Oh yeah, if you can name all the Noble gases, without looking at the Periodic Table, You win a hug from me!!! You guys are the best!
Till Next Time,
Shalom
Thanks to www.chemreview.net for the info.
Now that I think about it, all the atoms on the periodic table are trying to reach octet in their outer shell, that's why there is covalent bonds,Ionic bonds, here a bond there a bond everywhere a bond bond. They want the 8.
If you aren't stable you are radioactive. Then you are an isotope and who really wants to be an isotope? Who really wants to be radioactive? I have been toxic for way too long. Forget being a 10, I want to be an 8! 8 in your outer shell in chemistry is what makes you stable. I want 8 in my outer shell. The Lord designed everything to have balance in all things. What a clever God we have, still baffling scientist since the beginning of time.
As the Apostle Paul said I try to be content in all things. Even the atoms of the universe are trying to achieve being content, or that “cloak of nobility.” So the Lord created everything to have balance and contentment and I guess the end of it all peace.
I think this time around I am going to get a lot more out of studying Chemistry. Thanks Lord for the renewed enthusiasm for Chemistry and Math. I have the mind of Christ, and if the Lord designed this world. I declare and decree that I will be able to balance out chemical equations and that I am a straight A student. Haha!! Let it be so Lord! Doing a happy dance with the King of Kings!
To all the chemist who read this, I am still learning. If by some chance, I am technically off please correct me in love. You are the best.
Oh yeah, if you can name all the Noble gases, without looking at the Periodic Table, You win a hug from me!!! You guys are the best!
Till Next Time,
Shalom
Thanks to www.chemreview.net for the info.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Another Shameless Plug for IHOP
I am blown away from the AMAZING MUSIC coming out of IHOP. You need to go buy the single "My Beloved" by Cory Asbury. I hit the ground again, when I listened to it, I just remembered Marvin and the crew singing this chours. Brought back some happy memories. I will say this much. This song is forever my warfare song. :)
Peace
Peace
Just A Thought
Here is a thought, if you listen to a healing and deliverance conference from Morningstar you should expect something to leave you.
I think I manifested on my mother today and I felt like a jerk. I think I even scared her demons.
I think I manifested on my mother today and I felt like a jerk. I think I even scared her demons.
Recanting isn't that bad....(It' depends on what you are recanting from)
I am glad Luther didn't recant. Where would we be if he recanted?
I need to recant something I said in my first blog entry. Please disregard my first blog entry! I do care if people read my blog. End of Entry.
I need to recant something I said in my first blog entry. Please disregard my first blog entry! I do care if people read my blog. End of Entry.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Jesus The Ultimate Freedom Rider
The Lord is so funny, I open up my email today, and the title of my Derek Prince devotional is, “The Way Out is Up.” That truly is the final answer. Lord, I need to see with a heavenly perspective. Lord, help me to keep my gaze locked on you, no matter what the situation is. Lord, I don't want to believe what I see, I want to believe in the invisible realm. That is my cry of my heart and that is my warfare, to stay in that place of gazing upon the Beautiful One.
For those who have been praying for my mother, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love you all so much, words cannot explain how much I love you and how much it means to me. I have been dealing with some deep pain when it comes to the mother daughter relationship. The tears themselves have been hitting me in waves. One moment I think I am OK, the next I am crying these large tears that come from a deep place of pain and longing. I am actually shocked how deep this pain is, and I am shocked that I have carried it around for so long. Jesus knows the way to get to the pain and on the other side is FREEDOM!!! I think that there is a Happy Dance in there somewhere!
So here I am once again, clinging on His hem and waiting for the freedom to bust forth. What does freedom feel like in an area that you have been bound in for so long? I want to get addicted to freedom. Do what you have to do Lord, that I may be totally free in your Spirit. Do It Lord.! Lord, I feel hope again. Thank-you!
Last night while I was sprawled out on the dining room floor crying, a thought popped into my head. This situation is totally God's economy. I get delivered of my deep pain from not having a real relationship with my mother, and my mother gets saved. Wow, the Lord is killing two birds with one stone! Our God is so clever! I have to remember that it's not about me. It was never about me, nor will it ever be about me. It's about Him, and Him alone.
Can I trust the Lord to be the Great Deliverer? That is the question that I am asking and that's what it is coming down to. I mean you read the book of Exodus and the Lord delivered 4 million Jews out of Egypt. Do you think I could surrender to this Great Deliverer? Can I just trust Him and that all His ways are good. What is my issue? He is the LORD GOD ALMIGHTY! I have to surrender any expectations that I might have and the way I want to do it, and let God be God. And this wendybird needs to fly out of the way so God can finish what He started in me, and my mother.
I serve an awesome God. Jesus you are the gentle shepherd and I thank-you for your kindness and gentleness. No one can compare to you Jesus!! Lord, You are the Way, Truth, and Life! I would be so lost without you!!! Thank-you Lord for saving me!!! I love you Lord!!! Your ways are higher than my ways. Lord, help me to lean into your sovereignty. Lord, help me have the Hebrews 11 faith.
So, I pick up my mother from the airport tonight, and I don't know what to expect. I haven't seen her in 6 years. I am just going to love on her and serve her and I think that I am learning to truly honor my mother. Through the pain, through the good days , through the bad days, I am learning how to honor my mother. I know Jesus is pleased with that.
A few more things before I go, To all my spiritual mothers who loved me through out my journey in Christ, I love you all so much. You know who you are. Your reward is great in heaven.
The Lord pressed something upon my heart, and I heard Him say to me, “Mother to the Nations.” I broke down and cried again. Let it be so, Lord.
Till Next Time
Shalom
For those who have been praying for my mother, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love you all so much, words cannot explain how much I love you and how much it means to me. I have been dealing with some deep pain when it comes to the mother daughter relationship. The tears themselves have been hitting me in waves. One moment I think I am OK, the next I am crying these large tears that come from a deep place of pain and longing. I am actually shocked how deep this pain is, and I am shocked that I have carried it around for so long. Jesus knows the way to get to the pain and on the other side is FREEDOM!!! I think that there is a Happy Dance in there somewhere!
So here I am once again, clinging on His hem and waiting for the freedom to bust forth. What does freedom feel like in an area that you have been bound in for so long? I want to get addicted to freedom. Do what you have to do Lord, that I may be totally free in your Spirit. Do It Lord.! Lord, I feel hope again. Thank-you!
Last night while I was sprawled out on the dining room floor crying, a thought popped into my head. This situation is totally God's economy. I get delivered of my deep pain from not having a real relationship with my mother, and my mother gets saved. Wow, the Lord is killing two birds with one stone! Our God is so clever! I have to remember that it's not about me. It was never about me, nor will it ever be about me. It's about Him, and Him alone.
Can I trust the Lord to be the Great Deliverer? That is the question that I am asking and that's what it is coming down to. I mean you read the book of Exodus and the Lord delivered 4 million Jews out of Egypt. Do you think I could surrender to this Great Deliverer? Can I just trust Him and that all His ways are good. What is my issue? He is the LORD GOD ALMIGHTY! I have to surrender any expectations that I might have and the way I want to do it, and let God be God. And this wendybird needs to fly out of the way so God can finish what He started in me, and my mother.
I serve an awesome God. Jesus you are the gentle shepherd and I thank-you for your kindness and gentleness. No one can compare to you Jesus!! Lord, You are the Way, Truth, and Life! I would be so lost without you!!! Thank-you Lord for saving me!!! I love you Lord!!! Your ways are higher than my ways. Lord, help me to lean into your sovereignty. Lord, help me have the Hebrews 11 faith.
So, I pick up my mother from the airport tonight, and I don't know what to expect. I haven't seen her in 6 years. I am just going to love on her and serve her and I think that I am learning to truly honor my mother. Through the pain, through the good days , through the bad days, I am learning how to honor my mother. I know Jesus is pleased with that.
A few more things before I go, To all my spiritual mothers who loved me through out my journey in Christ, I love you all so much. You know who you are. Your reward is great in heaven.
The Lord pressed something upon my heart, and I heard Him say to me, “Mother to the Nations.” I broke down and cried again. Let it be so, Lord.
Till Next Time
Shalom
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