The Lord Just Told Me To Love Her

I see more and more beauty of our Lord. The Lord is making this journey easy for me. He is giving me crazy grace, and I thank-you for that Lord. There are moments of awkward pain, but I think due to my obedience of the Lord's leading; He is taking it away faster than usual. For some strange feeling, I feel like I am getting stronger in the midst of the chaos.

It feels like everyday I am grabbing a hold of more of His grace. Lord, can I dance with you, in the rivers of your grace and mercy? I like your grace Jesus! It's pretty awesome! Show me your grace and beauty, Lord Jesus. Lord, thank you for making this trip that much easier.

A few years back, I had a major reconciliation with my mother. I think that moment with my mother, had prepared my heart to follow the command of Jesus today. He told me just to love her. Don't judge her, don't hold bitter hostility towards her, Just love your mother. And that's all I can do, because the Lord told me to do it. Like I have said before, I am truly learning how to honor my mother.

It was the first part of the onion getting peeled off. I knew that it broke in on my mother's heart too, because I was no longer the “Religious Christian.” who was a hypocrite. I guess we never know that moment of forgiveness, what the implications of it will be in the future. That encounter has open the doors in my heart to bring a level of healing. I was thinking about that today, if that didn't happen, I would be like my sisters, angry at my mother for not being there for us all these years. And you weren't there for us why should we be here for you?

The reality is this, I realized that I could no longer be mad at my mother. How could she give me what she never received from her alcoholic parents? I had the revelation that my mom has a lot of pain that she has carried over her life. How could I add to it more? I want to see my mother free, I want her to have a restoration that she may think will never come in her life. I want my mom to know and love Jesus when it's all said and done. I want the good things for my mother. I also wanted to obey what the Lord has told me to do, now that she is back in my life.