The Lord is so funny, I open up my email today, and the title of my Derek Prince devotional is, “The Way Out is Up.” That truly is the final answer. Lord, I need to see with a heavenly perspective. Lord, help me to keep my gaze locked on you, no matter what the situation is. Lord, I don't want to believe what I see, I want to believe in the invisible realm. That is my cry of my heart and that is my warfare, to stay in that place of gazing upon the Beautiful One.
For those who have been praying for my mother, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love you all so much, words cannot explain how much I love you and how much it means to me. I have been dealing with some deep pain when it comes to the mother daughter relationship. The tears themselves have been hitting me in waves. One moment I think I am OK, the next I am crying these large tears that come from a deep place of pain and longing. I am actually shocked how deep this pain is, and I am shocked that I have carried it around for so long. Jesus knows the way to get to the pain and on the other side is FREEDOM!!! I think that there is a Happy Dance in there somewhere!
So here I am once again, clinging on His hem and waiting for the freedom to bust forth. What does freedom feel like in an area that you have been bound in for so long? I want to get addicted to freedom. Do what you have to do Lord, that I may be totally free in your Spirit. Do It Lord.! Lord, I feel hope again. Thank-you!
Last night while I was sprawled out on the dining room floor crying, a thought popped into my head. This situation is totally God's economy. I get delivered of my deep pain from not having a real relationship with my mother, and my mother gets saved. Wow, the Lord is killing two birds with one stone! Our God is so clever! I have to remember that it's not about me. It was never about me, nor will it ever be about me. It's about Him, and Him alone.
Can I trust the Lord to be the Great Deliverer? That is the question that I am asking and that's what it is coming down to. I mean you read the book of Exodus and the Lord delivered 4 million Jews out of Egypt. Do you think I could surrender to this Great Deliverer? Can I just trust Him and that all His ways are good. What is my issue? He is the LORD GOD ALMIGHTY! I have to surrender any expectations that I might have and the way I want to do it, and let God be God. And this wendybird needs to fly out of the way so God can finish what He started in me, and my mother.
I serve an awesome God. Jesus you are the gentle shepherd and I thank-you for your kindness and gentleness. No one can compare to you Jesus!! Lord, You are the Way, Truth, and Life! I would be so lost without you!!! Thank-you Lord for saving me!!! I love you Lord!!! Your ways are higher than my ways. Lord, help me to lean into your sovereignty. Lord, help me have the Hebrews 11 faith.
So, I pick up my mother from the airport tonight, and I don't know what to expect. I haven't seen her in 6 years. I am just going to love on her and serve her and I think that I am learning to truly honor my mother. Through the pain, through the good days , through the bad days, I am learning how to honor my mother. I know Jesus is pleased with that.
A few more things before I go, To all my spiritual mothers who loved me through out my journey in Christ, I love you all so much. You know who you are. Your reward is great in heaven.
The Lord pressed something upon my heart, and I heard Him say to me, “Mother to the Nations.” I broke down and cried again. Let it be so, Lord.
Till Next Time
Shalom
Much love Birdie :)
ReplyDeleteI know God will come through!